It's days like today when I wonder what I'm doing, and why I'm doing what I'm doing. My car is in the shop with a cracked radiator, bad brakes, and a transmission problem. It's had the transmission problem for years, and that'll just stay how it is (cross your fingers that it lasts another few years!), but the other things are getting fixed, and as you can probably guess, that's really expensive, and I hate spending money on a car I've been driving since I got my drivers license...
It's days like today when things feel doomed, when I am most painfully aware that other people my age have bought houses. Houses. And I can barely afford to get my car fixed. If I wasn't such a hard headed stubborn person I would have given up art a long time ago. But I can't. I won't. But why? It would probably be the smart thing. I guess it's because its the only thing I've always wanted to do, still want to do, must do...have to do. I've even wondered if I missed something, was there something else I was supposed to do in life? Did I miss a calling of some sort? No.. I think I'm destined for art. Doomed for art, lol! :-)
This seals the deal that I am not going to my high school reunion. I can put that ninety bucks to much more urgent use.
I dunno, this isn't something I talk about often and I may end up removing this posting, but lest anyone think that I'm some wildly successful artist, let me set the record straight. I'm hanging on by a thread.
I'm posting more stuff for sale.
*sigh*
Clap your hands if you believe in artists, I need it.
2 comments:
I am clapping - I have the art habit myself. You do beautiful work don't give up. :)
I know how you feel sometimes, but keep at it Katherine, you are one of the best artist of poultry that we have today. I still have hope that someday we can work together.
Your day will come, I’m sure of it. Maybe your work with the APA will bring new opportunities, and all the hard work and sacrifices will be worth it.
Hang in there, Kenny Troiano
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