a lot on my mind

I'm down in Wilton right now, spending a couple days down here.  I had some things I wanted to do for myself (process peaches and plums, check chickens, start packing chicken stuff) and I also came down to give my mom a hand with a few of her projects.  So I've gotten a ton of stuff done but still have a very full schedule tomorrow.

I can't remember if I already wrote about this, but I had released the peafowl about a week and a half ago.  They seemed ready, and Nara had healed up extremely well from her broken leg.  They came and went for a few days, and then they went... and haven't been back... for almost a week.  It's easy, and unpleasant, to think that something may have caught them, and yes it's possible and yes I knew the risks, but since I knew they were fine for several days, and I would see them foraging far from the house, I think the more likely scenario is they have wandered off and found some place they like better.  Peafowl are notorious for this.  My peafowl-experienced friends have also told me it's not unusual for them to immediately disappear for a week or even two, exploring as far as they can, before they return home and stick around.  I sincerely hope that's what they are up to.  They are such totally cool birds, it makes me sad to think they might not come back, so keep your fingers crossed that they're just out on walkabout for a while.  Or, if they decided to live down by the creek where it's shadier and cooler, I wouldn't blame them, and then at least I could walk down there and visit them.

I brought Olin with me when I drove down here, I didn't want to leave him alone in the loft for that many days.  He does not like being alone, so I thought he'd be happier coming back here.  He does seem rather happy, he promptly went outside and I hadn't seen him until finally he came in this evening!  Mom said she saw him twice between then and now though.  I jokingly said to her that we may end up with shared custody of him, and if he doesn't show up when I'm ready to leave, that may well be true... he'll end up staying down here for a while.  And truth is I still wonder if leaving him here would be better for him anyway.  I know he's not happy being indoors all the time, and he definitely drives me crazy with all that meowing.  I know that's a hard transition and I know it would take time, obviously more than a month.  I don't know, sigh.  If he stays here gets to be outside and around Homer (Mom's cat), but he doesn't have a person he likes all that much.  If I keep him with me, he stays indoors, but I've always been "his person" he's so affectionate with me.  He is SO dear to me, I don't want to leave him behind, but I don't know how much time it will take for him to be happy up there, or if he ever would.  I guess with the peafowl gone, putting him out in their old aviary sometimes is an option.  I just don't want to let him loose, he wanders like crazy, and there are way too many predators.  Could I really only see my little boy a few times a year for the rest of his life though?  I don't like this idea...

As you remember, my horse Shylah moved up to Oak Run with me, but my old mare Gwen stayed here in Wilton.  Gwen is not doing well.  Age is definitely catching up to her, and she has the looks of some pretty serious heart trouble.  I think I'm seeing the beginning of the end.  It won't happen right now, I'm not ready to say "it's time" but I'm saying it's time to figure out the options, because I think it will be time pretty soon.  I HATE this.

Dang, this is really not the cheeriest blog post is it.  There are good things this weekend too!  I've had a good time visiting family and friends!  Yeah, okay, I'll just go to bed before this gets even more depressing.